suicide/chronic illness (-) 

i think i was under the mistaken impression that stopping the pain would make me feel better. that really isn’t the case and i need to recognize the mass of feelings i am currently repressing rather than consider atm. still feel dangerously close to the edge of suicide because of how helpless i am to this illness

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suicide/chronic illness (-) 

i feel,,, i feel terrible. i am scared because my body isn’t under my complete control, i’m scared of what might happen next, i’m scared that so many things i’ve lost i’ll never get back. i don’t want to be like this forever

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