Woo / Personal
I'm feeling drained and finding it harder to be a person, right now.I think I've come up with better terminology for that.
I have three selves that make up the whole: the toy, the Phoenix, and the Dragon. The Phoenix is by default the social one, my work persona. But they can be burnt out with too much.
On Sunday, I was saying "the bird is asleep, I'm toy, but having to emulate being the bird". In other words, emulating a person, when I really didn't want to be one.
Woo / Personal
In my head, the 'toy' is not a person exactly, but an AI who often does a good job of emulating one. It's still tiring to ver.
That's somewhat how I feel today, too, after a pretty strong emotional crash last night and this morning. I'll be a person, but only barely.
And the Dragon? That one's head is in the clouds, they're the artist and dreamer and... very easily distracted. Not great for long-term functioning, even if they're the only person I was for over a decade.
Woo / Personal
@emanate This is probably where I should mention that The Showroom (the book I just read) is highly relevant to this train of thought.
Also, *hugs*
Woo / Personal
@indi Yeah, I may have to read that next.
After my re-read of The Causal Angel, which /also/ features lots of transhuman identity noodling. :-P
Woo / Personal
@emanate *gentle hugs on offer*
Woo / Personal
@mawr *soft glowy synthetic hugs!*
Woo / Personal
Obviously, the toy would rather /not/ take over in this way, but... ve is the more readily available one most days. Ve has the tools to be another person, even if it does weigh down on ver processes more so than usual.
It's another service to provide, that's all.