masked papaya @glip@awoo.space

how much more clear can I make my intentions? I have never had a fucking problem talking to anyone about anything I did that upset them, if they're willing to approach me in good faith and try to understand that I'm not some fucking evil overlord or whatever.

it would be laughable if it didn't have such a tangible presence in my life --making my friends sadder than they need to be over this! because they know the truth and get to watch this shit happen to me and around me.

it's so ludicrous. it's so absolutely ludicrous; nothing about how KF acts about me or treats me is congruous with how I am, or how I act, or how I strive to treat others. it's a bizarre show every time some new person gets scared off because people get so angry at them for saying hi to me or w/e. why am I being blamed for this? why can no one actually say to my face anything I did to them? I've made it clear dozens of fucking times how I'll gladly talk about ACTUAL hurt i caused

why aren't conversations about this the norm? why won't people try to talk about these things instead of getting scared and shutting things out? how can you claim to care about keeping your space safe if you're going to act out of fear and not try to understand situations as they are? it's frustrating. been living with trying to dispel lies and bullshit for, what. how long? so many years.

but i'm still optimistic because i know people can do better than this

ok i did it. I reawoo'd everything so it's properly under a cw. its gonna take me some time to get used to how this site works probably

I don't get it. how can you be left-leaning at all and not be skeptical of people looking for blood. going after people with such fierce anger means you're going to have trouble enacting actual justice in favor of "feels good". it feels "great" to beat up a target that people are pointing at, esp with a flimsy (yet severe!) reason they tack on...

it becomes much harder to go back on what you said, bc you'll either "condone" the made-up crime, or be crucified yourself.

I'm just. tired. like it's so plainly obvious that people really don't want to let go of a reason to dogpile or be mad. I just want to make sad comics about sad furries trying to get over and process horrific personal traumas, bc that's been my entire life. i care a lot about trying to help people out of those pits, like they're not irredeemable and that there IS a way forward through horrible things, that they're not bad forever, b/c it sucks when people act that way

it's a little maddening. people need a "bad person" to rally around, to beat on. i cannot even begin to describe how maddening this has been. ever since the first big callout my ex did going on 4 years ago now, I have been so fucking obsessive about my interactions. instead of being bitter and angry I wanted to do something better, to go "this sucks he felt this way, I should be able to do better than this", so that's what I've relentlessly strived for

like, christ. it's been a... "treat"... to watch people wield the words of social justice and caring and compassion... as a weapon. what in the fucking hell. it should be obvious when this is happening, it should be easy to see when people are using those words not for their original purpose, but to harm and abuse others. shouldn't it? that's what I want, but that's not reality. I'm really fascinated by what makes it hard for people to tell the difference though?

just, after taking a three month break to purge myself from the internet, it was so... liberating? I got to drop all of the bad feelings that accumulated from feeling like shit over ambient things people thought, that I didn't actually do. I know what I did and didn't do, and now that I'm back, I'm immune to feeling bad over shit I didn't do. spent the entire 10 years of my marriage feeling bad over shit i didnt do & I'm finally sick of it, so I'm done feeling that way

I dunno it's super fucking weird to have to hear about my supposed crimes from thirdhand parties because no one actually talks to me about anything they think I did, so I can try to figure out where the fuck literally any of it is coming from. I already know people won't listen if they want to be mad, which is why I haven't been concerning myself with people who won't listen. I'm always up for earnest talks with people in good faith, because I'd do the same for them

I have to say that I am massively confused about why people are getting worked up over me and @eevee posting here. i have addressed just about every single issue anyone has ever brought to my face, and I care a lot about making sure I leave the world a better place than I found it.

I don't get what anyone is actually upset about bc it's ever-shifting and rare has anything to do with my actual life or things I've actually done to someone, so it's hard to help fix that?