green except too damn hot @green@awoo.space

... is it weird to be homesick for a possibly fictional headcanon construct world? among this crowd, I suspect very much not...

but then, we had the near-godlike computer processing and information storage technology to make a project like that viable; I don't think humans could do even the mapping of something like that right now, although they're getting very close. also, we had a much stronger societal framework of information preservation at all costs.

that's why (getting into some woo-woo background story, lol) my job was using the equivalent of a scanning electron microscope to catalog and count microbes in Martian fossil sediments. we were trying to recreate the *entire ecosystem*, and knowing the chemical balances and bacterial percentages was vital to recreating it properly, rather than just sticking the charismatic megafauna in and faking the rest.

you have to look at all the other things--jackals, crows, dung beetles, gazelles, alligators, fish, plants, even microbes. it all *fits together*. and any given fossil record is by nature woefully incomplete.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/laelaps/the-making-of-an-allosaurus-graveyard/

this gets into some deep paleoecology studies that *fascinate* me. it's not enough just to dig up and study what amounts to the "charismatic megafauna" of a given time/place... how much sense would it make trying to reconstruct a modern African Savannah ecosystem by only studying lions and wildebeest?

there is a part of my soul that will always live in the redwood forests and flood plains of Humboldt County. ocean, fog, cathedrals of trees, and riotous green... when I think of peace, of grace, these are the places I picture.

when I started calling myself "Green," it was mostly out of frustration--trying to come up with a handle that seemed to represent The Real Me. now, I understand that I was just being as accurate as possible.

I realized last night why I have never been able to come up with a "soul name": because the thing that sums up my spirit isn't a sound, it's a color. two colors, specifically fog grey and... that particular shade of green, between evergreen and emerald.

oh hey I can get into my mastodon.social account, so here some reposting of that stuff...

@BurusuBlues it's nice to have a concrete idea of a dedicated afterlife, that isn't dependent on somebody else's moral approval of my life, y'know? though I like to think Djwty would let me into Duat, despite me not keeping ma'at as well as I maybe could... ;)

I should put that in my bio, actually...

so anyway that's where/what I am, currently. Rasha is gone, but so is E, the human who was semi-separate from Rasha, and I am both of them, so if you knew her/them, don't mourn--we're still here. :) green is an identity under construction in a badly-fitting human suit.
FINAL TADAAAAAAA

and I'll be able to spend a good chunk of money to commission such a pic in the next couple of months, so if you're interested in taking it on, by all means let me know and link your portfolio! :D

I'm starting to think that I need to commission a new picture, though, with a different color scheme--the green was by request, the giraffe-yellow was "I have no idea what the body color is, do whatever you like!" but now I'm thinking green plumage, fog-grey-blue body.

so, for example, this: https://awoo.space/media/fg8pmX81D457vY9EF4U is the current commissioned picture that I use to represent myself. and my userpic is another variant of this self-image.

I am--it's easier to list the things I'm not than explain what I actually am.

*not actually a dragon, but related to dragons
*not actually any known lineage of dinosaur, but descended from them
*not actually Terran, at least not now, though I like to daydream that when I die I'll be able to "go home"--and then go through years of intensive therapy to deal with this lifetime
*physically human, mentally ???

that was several years back. (I have difficulties with time-memory; "several years" is I think four or five? but might be a decade? or two or three? I honestly don't know and won't unless I look it up.)

and now there's just me, green. tadaaa again!

most recently... it's a bit embarrassing, honestly, but Rasha, after decades of staying aloof from E's emotional affairs, got involved with a human who E thought was--safe. that human was not in fact safe, and was in fact an emotionally abusive asshole. E had experience dealing with trauma; Rasha didn't, and the fallout... killed her. and then, we integrated, I guess as a survival mechanism.

who eventually became aware of each other and thus, Rasha and E. tadaaa!

anyway, according to that history, my Terran self was killed right around the time that Terra itself was bounced sideways into an alternate dimension. I wasn't on Terra itself at the time, I was on Mars; I died violently; and I wasn't able to reincarnate on Terra because SUDDENLY IT WASN'T THERE. (it's come back since then; long-ass story, ask Baxil.) the trauma split me into two parts, which went to different places, and became a human and a dragon.