This is better suited for a blog, but:
I think what people call "white fragility" is actually a very human reaction to evidence you've benefited from an inherently unjust system (mostly) through no choice of your own.
It's hard to know what to do with that.
We all want to believe we're good people, and that includes the mistaken belief that our success is due to the exercise of our virtues.
But that's not how it works. Success is not up to us. We are born into privilege based on arbitrary and unfair social rules.
I'm a cis male, and that brings me a certain societal privilege that has nothing to do with being Black and gay. It's uncomfortable sitting with that, but not more uncomfortable than the friction women and trans friends have to deal with. I'm still learning how to recognize that.
I'll always advocate showing people grace where it's warranted. Yes, there are bad-faith actors out there and people who are only "pretending" to not get it just to waste everyone's precious time.
But we're good enough to tell the difference, and to be patient when it counts.
I don't begrudge people who need time to understand, accept, and respond to their privilege. It's not an easy process, and expecting people to just jump to the end immediately makes it so much harder.
That being said, PLEASE AT LEAST commit to the process, people.