Mental Illness
Just to be up front, I've been diagnosed with chronic depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADHD. Mental illness runs in my family -- Mom was a paranoid schizophrenic, and pretty much all of my biological siblings have disorders of some sort. I've been incredibly lucky in that I'm in a place with good mental health care and a great support network. But damn, this fucking year has upended me something fierce. I've been short at work, withdrawn at home, unfocused, unhappy.
Mental Illness
Looking back on things, it's easy to see why. My sister died suddenly and my family situation has been a dumpster fire since then. My mother needs a lot of help -- more than I can give -- but she is also unwilling to do anything she doesn't want to do even when she needs to. I think she's being taken advantage of by someone caring for her, but she has nowhere else to go. And my job is just...really not fun. The culture has tanked, and hard work is not rewarded.
Mental Illness
On top of that...*gestures at the socio-political climate of the US*
I'm basting in a soup of anti-expertise rhetoric, naked racism, public sophistry, all while the clock is winding down on fixing our environment before it collapses all around us. It's been really hard to motivate myself for a future that feels as bleak as it does. I really don't know what to do; I don't think things will get better, and I know I can't control that, but...trying to do anything gets harder & harder
