Jakebe T. Drake-Lope @jakebe@awoo.space

But I have to keep on, because what choice is there? I won't stop fighting for what I know this country can be.

I won't stop trying to connect with people, help them understand that empathy and compassion are important, necessary.

I just wish it felt like it mattered.

I'm so tired.

I'm tired of white people centering their discomfort over my reality.

I'm tired of having to stop to make sure someone's conscience is untroubled when I talk about the effect of all this on my life and health.

I'm tired of being told our problems don't exist.

I can't take the "what about" deflections that come from privileged people with no skin in the game, who treat this as nothing more than a hypothetical. Meanwhile, black people are being killed, journalists are being terrorized, and the Pres is supporting it.

I can't take the endless feed of state-sponsored violence knowing I'm largely helpless to stop any of it, to even convince people that we are the victims and not the perpetrators.

I can't take being told demanding equal rights (including the right to life) is "political".

Three months of the coronavirus quarantine was rough, but I could handle it.

After ONE WEEK of watching the US government fail us to protect is own citizens and police officers kill with impunity around the country, my mental health is not great.

After telling my psychiatrist I've been having more days where it feels like what's the point of anything, he's increasing my Prozac dosage "until things become more stable".

So I'll be on this increased dosage until I can't get my prescription any more, is what that means.

By the way, today is 99th anniversary of the Tulsa massacre where over 300 black-owned businesses were burned:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/01/us/tulsa-race-massacre-1921-99th-anniversary-trnd/index.html

This rhetoric has been a part of this administration since his campaign. You knew this is who he is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AtAgLsDkF4&feature=youtu.be

People giving brands like L'Oreal and Activision Blizzard NO QUARTER with their bullshit solidarity statements by bringing the receipts for their punishments of past attempts to discuss injustice is giving me life today :)