a nice thing happened in my personal life recently that, while small in the great scheme, is also beyond anything I dared to ever fantasise about; so I'm sort of playing with/entertaining ideas like "taking up space" and "existing in the world" and "people aren't lying when they say they like me"

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generally when I get something I want it's hard-won. Even basic things are hard-won with unmedicated ADHD & the victory just feels like the lost time & the expended effort and the guilt & the shame. But the nice thing that happened basically just happened almost in spite of my actions & behaviour

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