Purgative (CW: Suicide Discussion)
Please remember, everyone's response to tragedy will be different.
My roommate Allie Groothof committed suicide in my living room in 2006 at the very tail end of The Bad. It took me two days to decide that a locked door and not having seen her was enough to justify risking violating her privacy to check on her. The cops who responded to the 911 call wanted to know why the character she'd been RPing online wore the same bracelet she had on.
Purgative (CW: Suicide Discussion)
The only warning we had was two weeks prior. She came out of her room in the middle of some kind of altered state and told us she was thinking of killing herself. Nobody knew how close to the edge she was. We didn't think she was serious.
For years, my only response to suicide talk was "don't discuss it around me; if I think you're serious, I will call 911 and you can hate me from the hospital." I had already failed one friend. I was too afraid to fail again.
Purgative (CW: Suicide Discussion)
I'm less brittle now than I was then. I'm in a better place to discuss things. I still feel some lingering guilt that I couldn't save Allie, and some sense that my own skills aren't enough to help people truly in need. I'm sorry.
I made this, as a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there can be hope. It if helps you, please take it. Take anything that helps you get to tomorrow. Please don't go.
https://www.mixcloud.com/orrery/darkness-before-dawn/