@tom introducing… microsoft tom

@noiob "hey tom could y-"

"ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT"

@tom I would pay for that

@noiob "hey tom, play <album> by <artist>"

"okay, playing E•MO•TION by Carly Rae Jepsen"

@tom *stackoverflow voice* this assistant only ever tries to play Emotion, how do I make it play other songs

*top reply, five thousand upvotes* have you considered only listening to Emotion, since it's the best album?

@noiob this reply was incidentally also written by tom

@tom they should add that assistant to this specific brand of GPS devices

@noiob noooh my god you do NOT want me to be your navigator

@Keel can confirm

@tom it's fine I can't drive or follow directions

@noiob gargantuan mood

@bonzoesc you can still set it to use the older MacinTalk voices (on desktop), but I feel like it shouldn't have a face but instead display the words or the info on its display like in that keynote

@noiob could be a little computer buddy there with word bubbles, instead of the waveform:

@bonzoesc awwwww yesss

they should get Susan Kare on board for that