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i do for real need to not be here but it feels like giving up to say that. but i don't actually need them to reach my life goals of "living with some friends" "having some rats" "going to anthrocon" "being a librarian"

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it feels like all of the burden is on me to try and repair our relationship even though they're the ones that ruined it. and if i try to leave they're going to reassert that. i think it's about working myself up to be confident enough that i'm doing whats best for me

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