diet dr. nasty @pinkplasticwineglass@awoo.space

@dragon thank you i'm trying.. i know that children who deal with hardships often internalize them bc they have no other coping tools bc emotional immaturity. so now i have to undo all of that

@dragon i agree.. i've tried to say as much to her but she's mostly focused on being indignant and self righteous which is nothing new. thank you for saying this..

i feel like my worldview is extremely skewed bc of shit they do and say to me and i really need to get away from them but i also feel like the worst person in the world for even considering that

you cant stick a laptop under your pillow because you hear your mom in the kitchen lol

i didn't stick up for myself when she was insisting that i broke rules about itnernet usage bc. a. they were controlling and horrid in the first place b. i was remembered like one time i was up late in my room on skype with a friend bc i was upset but for the most part i didnt bc i didnt have a phone until like. 15 or 16 i think

a truth of "i'm emotionally immature and selfish and just need to be more patient and submissive to my parents" would be much easier to swallow but it's much more complicated than that. it's true i am often unfairly snippy to them but it's because they act like this. i'm really scared of the reality where they're not right

i did use my phone in bed at night once i got one because of my fucking insomnia and i'm sure she'd lose her mind about that but honestly... like i hate this. she's turning my gender into a personal attack

specifically i wasn't supposed to access the internet literally at all in my room by myself up until a bit over a year ago. she thinks she couldn't have not noticed unless i was in my room doing this. today she asserted that she would have installed spyware on all of my devices like another parent she knows if she thought i was being trans on the internet before this point in time

one mom was irate at the idea of me being out as trans in online communities before them which feels really unreasonable. she keeps calling it "lying" and insists she only didn't pick up on it because i was "breaking rules" as a teen

gender therapist also appears to be mostly on their side. theyre not even really trying to understand why i cant just fucking disclose my friends genders or status as trans and they suck

i can apologize for being more rude/hostile than necessary in explaining this but my pricklyness is in response to them being "like this."

i have told them if friends are trans or not in the past but only when i have explicit permission to. i explained that i would not tell them this information because it's sensitive information that's not my place to disclose and it's not hard to take cues from the name & pronouns im using but they act as if that is unreasonable and that i am withholding critical information

today i declined to disclose if a friend of mine was transgender or not bc my parents always fucking ask me for some reason. i think that i came off as being hostile which is unsurprising to me because its kind of an invasive question and i was reacting to that. theyre both upset about this

i think but am not sure if i expect myself to be emotionally unnoticeable to people. like i dont want to do or say things that inconvenience others in any way at all but i dont expect that from other people. and if other people do stuff that makes me feel anything i usually get really mad at myself. even if its something good it feels presumptuous

@dragon harpy eagle

@dragon oh true.. correct

dragon 2 looks weird because their diet isn't ideal and they don't absorb enough magic. so dragon 1 is just like.. hey what are u lol. dragons are kind of frilly/spiny midway thru puberty and may have limited feathers for display/communication purposes. dragon 2 has much smaller ones than normal bc no nutrients

the other dragon hatched from a stolen egg and raised by rat survivors on the land-side apocalypse. dragon 1 falls to the ground and is mistaken for a meteor (her fire makes her glow while she falls) and dragon 2 flies out to meet her in an attempt to collect her as scrap/salvage

my oc ideas are two dragons close to the same age. one dragon was raised relatively normally but negligence from her liege & parental figures put her in danger and lead to her having social difficulites. she is set up for failure and cast out of her home roost

sometimes it's important to look at pictures of griffon vultures and think about how they are dragons