diet dr. nasty @pinkplasticwineglass@awoo.space

my fanart idea is toshinori shaving aizawas scruffle. because thats very tender

can toshinori find socks big enough. my concern is that his feet are cold

i had extremely upsetting dream last night. where i was a child and an older boy was purposefully tormenting me where i was somewhere trapped away from home. i often experience apathy during rape nightmares but this one actively frightened me because of how malicious the rapist figment was towards me. also i was 10 or something

i like that izuku is a very timid & earnest person. and that his friends love him bc of all of his traits and support him. i think its really good that izuku cries a lot because it shows that he cares and feels things very strongly

i find it sort of untenable that bakugou is allowed to get away with continually being antagonistic towards him but whatever

this comes up thematically a lot in bnha and its like. no, stop? izuku is fine. he can be a bitter. hes not even like very spiteful he just is nervous of bakugou and avoids him sometimes?

a bullied child being afraid & somewhat spiteful towards the psn who bullied him literally his entire lief. is not the same as the bully having some self esteem problems because his victim is doing cool shit

my bnha opinion is that im not into the way izuku and bakugou relate to each other being treated as equivalent. just leave him olone

i dont think i really need to justify why i need to be out of my parents' reach to people. but it still feels like im being ridiculous

ive been offered housing & help getting settled somewhere else from a really good friend of mine. i just need to be brave enough to leave

i dont think i can trauma heal while i'm still living with & relying on my parents

the hunch https://awoo.space/media/xRiNFme_VCL8R-z39vo

i keep thinking i should "grow up" and not be upset about this anymore. but honestly i dont think teens or children are able to emotionally process this. i am growing into an adult now and that means i actually have the tools to deal with this instead of the haphazard & often violent ways i coepd & avoided as a child

i try to remain or at least appear calm & aloof as a way of maintaining a semblance of control, but i think that is counterproductive in the long run. i can be very scared (i am) and that is ok to feel and express

also the strong reaction i had in general. just makes me feel bad. there were a lot of things i did as a child that make me think i was used to being sexually touched by adults, by ~10 i had learned to be fearful instead of accepting. i think it stopped a few years before that

i have a strong memory of inappropriate touching from my mother and her being very frustrated with my fear. whenever i think back on this i feel like the context excuses it, but not really. its a very bad memory that causes me a lot of distress

i feel like if i talk about csa i need to prove to my friends that it actually happened. i dont and its not fair to me. it doesnt matter if i cant remember any of it well.. im still hurting really really badly and i feel alone and scared. even if i cant remember im still hurting. because my friends care about me they will want to support me and they dont need me to prove that im a real survivor

(cont of previous post, no warnings needed) i know that like. while people look at me and don't know what i've been through. they still can read an "oddness" on me in the way that my ptsd manifests. most people won't know that it's ptsd and generally just think judgmental things about me because ableism

its like the most horrifying thing in the world to say like. hey. i was sexually abused a lot as a tween & teen and extremely likely as a young child. i feel like a degenerate for being alive after that and that it is a shameful secret i need to hide & conceal

aizawa. sweatshirt that says "I HAVE DEPRESSION"