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SFW Selfie 

Current aesthetic: trucking company button down shirt over lavender camisole.

awoo.space/media/fkJDv1BPALQxQ

Boost to fall in love with a semi-random mastodon user
Fav to enter the pool of semi-random mastodon users

Both to be kind

Mostly SFW Selfie 

Wearing lacey underthing that is actually visible for the first time ahhhhhhhh.

awoo.space/media/qjDnSgqz-7NTz

Voice Dysphoria 

Someone posted this on Reddit with the title "trans woman singing in alto section" and it is hitting a little too hard because it is 100 percent true.

i.imgur.com/dhierWc.jpg

Suicide, Spoons 

Work is doing a 2 hour suicide prevention training session. I managed to get through 40 minutes of it before leaving because we were about to roleplay asking people if they want to kill themselves and I'm like yeah I don't trust any of y'all to give you a straight answer to that.

So instead I'm in my office drinking tea and feeling guilty.

Work Rant I Guess 

And also it turns out that a diverse set of students enrolling in a course does not mean the course is diverse when they fail and/or experience sexism and racism in that course so when a woman of color has a complaint and a cis straight white dude sends that data out saying "look at this we're doing things right" it's a REALLY BAD LOOK ahhhh.

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Work Rant I Guess 

I spent a ton of effort over the last five days to prevent my boss from sending someone a set of course enrollment data b/c 1) it makes it look like there aren't problems but there are actually deep systematic problems and 2) it only looks good because it's the last three years and not the last eight also 3) we have NO IDEA why they look that way b/c we never did anything see systematic problem so OF COURSE HE SENT IT OUT now I'm praying she won't ask intelligent questions.

I just ate a bag of cheetos to make myself feel less sad. Yay self care!

Depression, Dysphoria, Weddings, Run On Sentence 

Friends are celebrating their 12th wedding anniversary and I'm like that's great I'm celebrating the fact that my last actual relationship fell apart almost exactly 12 years ago and the same depression and gender bullshit that killed it has been causing me to be completely broken and to sabotage any attempt I make at creating meaningful connections with people.

Today has not been a good day.

Babies and Maybe Depression 

I have so far managed to succeed at not responding to people saying "I'm pregnant!" with "I'm sorry that your child will be born in a terrible time and that your pregnancy will cause everyone around us to repeatedly inquire about your fetus's unformed genitals and refer to its concavity as 'gender' which frankly fucking pisses me off".

So I'm on this queer Seattle Faceboop buy/sell/recommendations group, partially because it's actually sometimes helpful and partially because it's sometimes hilarious.

Like the time someone was asking for recs for a queer-friendly Catholic church and someone recommended the Unitarian church.

Yesterday's was the best though. Someone was looking for a non-binary/trans-inclusive a capella group and someone commented... the Seattle Men's Chorus.

Brain: It is finally fall time to stop wearing bright colors and go back to comfy goth mode.

Me: But it's like 80---

Brain: Scarves and leggings and socks and skirts with too many layers and---

Me: The sun is still---

Brain: NO WE MUST WEAR LAYERS OF BLACK

Me: Okay but I'm not wearing boots.

Brain: As long as your skirt is long enough so nobody notices.

Me: FINE.

I hope my friends get here soon so they can release me because this dress is kind of too tight and I am sore just shitposting stuff on Faceboop.

I am wearing a new dress (that is slightly too small for me) today.

Advantages: cute af, does not assume I have gigantic boobs

Disadvantages: Not sure if it covers my butt, am stuck in it forever until someone unzips it for me

Ah the sweet sweet sound of someone avoiding using pronouns for me in an e-mail chain because they cannot gender my name.

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