assistant fox keeper @somekindofcrow@awoo.space

I have been thinking about this a lot and I think "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" should be changed to "there is no ethical existence under capitalism".

At the same time I've been contemplating converting back to the pagan traditions of my ancestors where everyone burns in hell except some burn more than others.

Hm.

I'm 35.
I'm also still alive.
Hooray.

I accidentally stumbled on an adult baby / little community and now I'm looking at cute adult-sized onesies.

Welp.

Me, earlier today, upon stepping out into the cold without a cold: "AHHHH THIS WAS A MISTAKE LACE AND CHIFFON ARE NOT GOOD FOR INSULATION!!!"

I mean I was cute as fuck in that dress though so.

It's Valentine's Day and I hate everything.

Still alive tho so yay.

Fox orb must be retooted it is the law of the fox orb.

Work mode for a moment: Hey local frens does anyone have posting access to internal mailing lists at Microsoft (and maybe Google and Amazon too) for spouses / people related to employees looking for not-tech-related jobs and can post a couple job openings for me?

Presented without comment. https://awoo.space/media/o-ozi0f4SfxgOrQIpsA

Okay at a con now and got gendered probably for the first time ever by hotel front desk.

Seriously I did not get my MS so people would call me sir instead of Ms.

So I posted the "hi I'm not a boy" thing and came out to a bunch of people on Faceboop and like 5 minutes later a Well Respected Academic was like "oh hey great timing I need to ask you if you're cool having your work be included in a talk I'm giving to like 100s of people and it'll be filmed and put online and I was planning on using she/her pronouns for you is that okay?"

Welp.

Welp I just came out to an order of magnitude more people than I have before.

This will be fun.

I found a notepad with a boxy fox drawing in it. :3

So anyway thank you friends for being in the ether so I can yell feelings in your general direction I needed to do that or I wouldn't be able to sleep and now it's past my bed time so I'm going to go collapse in bed bye.

Anyway if you've made it this far down the thread here's an exchange we had that you may find hilarious:

Her: "We don't have in-house surgeons but we refer all our patients to this great top surgeon a bit south of here <<insert name you can probably guess who it is if you're local>>, he's great---"

Me: "Oh I know. I've seen his work."

Somewhere around the Dick's on Lake City on my way to dinner/errands I started crying and laughing at the same time. I honestly don't know how to handle these emotions. I still don't. I think I need time to sort this all out.

Saying out loud to a medical professional "I don't really know what is going on but I am sure I'm not a cis man" and trusting someone enough to say that was much more emotional than I expected.

Afterwards I realized that beyond the fact that this was affirming as fuck and I got a lot of stuff off my chest this was the first time I had a primary care provider not tell me to lose weight, not guilt me, not make inappropriate non-medical comments about what's between my legs while doing a routine examination, not make unintentionally racist remarks...

I think honestly maybe I just had shitty doctors in the past.

Honestly, from talking to her I'm pretty sure that she's one of the people who made trans healthcare actually existent in the Megacorp.

But anyway, we talked about drugs and stuff and I was honestly expecting more hoops and more paperwork and more waiting and more everything but at some point she just said "I can send you home with spironolactone today if you want".

I said no because I'm very definitely not ready to commit yet but damn.

One of the things she made very clear at the beginning is that she is there to make sure I stay safe and yes that includes making sure I don't harm myself because of dysphoria. We talked about my mental state and made sure I was okay and had support systems in place before we even talked about drugs or anything.

Like I know this level of competency and training existed somewhere but I had never seen it in action and it was fucking glorious.

And finally after I got across to them that I am a completely new row in the database and they literally have nothing and I need them to request medical history, the nurse gave me a form and no pen. Good thing I carried a fountain pen because I'm a Nerd. It was the wrong form. I decided I could no longer even and the doctor came in and saw me face down on the table.

She dealt with my hysterical flailing pretty fucking well.