katt, migrating 🌟 🌈 @starkatt@awoo.space

the most courage I've shown was when I said I'd walk rather than work the amount of overtime he wanted. So now I'm "only" doing 9h every day, as compromise. Whenever I talk politically about the eight hour work day I feel hypocritical and craven.

I can probably ask for a lot more time off than I am tbh but my boss embodies the management "strategy" of being intimidating (to me at least; gender and culture are things here), capricious, and not clearly delineating how much is actually allowed.

I'm put on a red bandana today in what was meant to be at least a tiny gesture of solidarity but I don't think anyone here even recognizes it.

People around me get to say "hey I'm taking Monday off" and it's not even a thing but for me it feels like it costs worplace capital that I have to guard jealously.

Feels like the only reason I'm not in the streets today is because I'm selfish and not actually willing to bear costs in the name of change :/

It frightens me how normalized their existence and use is. That we've just gotten used to the idea that a tool to kill someone at a distance with minimal planning and effort is a reasonable thing to be carrying around anywhere outside of a war zone.

...or, I guess, people who carry *do* think of the world as a war zone. :shudders:

The disconcerting thing is how easy a semiautomatic handgun is to use? Like, five minutes of instruction and you're basically set. And when shooting it's easy to not think about the fact that you're actually launching a fragment of supersonic lead.

I think knowing how to use a gun is a skill that's good to have and I'm glad I'm practicing, but wow would the world be better if they just didn't exist.

I sincerely hope I never have to handle one anywhere other than a controlled environment.

Went shooting again today. Feels like I'm starting to actually know what I'm doing.

It's in a weird space emotionally for me. Purely as an activity it's fun, but I kinda try hard to not think about what the handgun is designed to do, and the idea of guns in general still makes me a bit uncomfortable. It's cognitive dissonance zone.

Amazing thing: having my partner gently use a warm towel to clean up the mess I made all over myself, while I just lie back and drift and let myself fall asleep.

Does anyone have a primer on what's going on? Because I have no idea. I'm just seeing the backscatter.

TFW finding the cute femme pants in your dresser you forgot you owned :D

Will probably end up sleeping in the car on national forest land or whatever and that's Worth It but I wish I'd made plans sooner.