@AnubysIshtar eh, awkward is awkward
but at least knowing how to express the things you are thinking can help a lot
and actually, i only recently stopped being terrified of hypothetical worsts...not because they won't happen--but because i'm kind of okay with being identified by something i actually like
this *is* me, after all...so it's a very good indicator of who i should want to keep the company of
after i realized this, i stopped worrying so much and became a lot less awkward
@AnubysIshtar this is not the same thing as not caring by the way
i do care. a lot!
the difference is that i also care about the kind of company i keep and am okay to let things play out if the worst possible things happened
(i wouldn't intentionally cause that to happen, of course...but i also wouldn't be afraid if it did)