https://pastebin.com/rjhZrzpu if anyone is curious about why i call myself a python war criminal
this is a single python expression (you could stick it, without the comments, into an eval statement and it'd work)! it is also a valid python program. in fact, it's a tiny video game
the source is like 1.3kb when you remove all the newlines and syntactically unnecessary spaces. i might try to golf it down further someday