lifehack: state mundane facts about yourself as though they're incredible supernatural phenomena
"scientists cannot explain how much i like coffee"
@BatElite scientists refuse to believe the truth behind how much you like coffee
@typhlosion @BatElite "Scientists hate her! Local enby moff uses this ONE WEIRD TRICK to drink infinite coffee! Click here!"
@typhlosion "Scientists cannot explain my lactose intolerance"
@typhlosion every night i fall unconscious for 5 to 8 hours and hallucinate situations both tame and fantastic, that i then forget minutes after coming to. no doctor can explain why
@typhlosion Or for a more conspiratorial route: "scientists will not explain how much you like coffee"