You'll need:

2 cups and 2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon salt (minus whatever for taste, I usually shake a lil out)
1 1/2 sticks salted butter, melted then cooled back to room temp
1 1/2 cups loosely packed brown sugar
2 lorge eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract, plus whatever happens to spill into the bowl
an arbitrary amount of dark chocolate chips to fit the mood

First put the butter into a bowl and throw that into a microwave to melt. I usually just gotta give it two 30 second cycles. Once you do that, set it aside and let it cool of to room temp. This may take a minute, put it in the fridge if you're impatient (but don't let it cool too much)

Sift together the flour, baking soda, cornstarch and salt. Set all this aside for now

In a large bowl, beat together the brown sugar and cooled melted butter. This should take a minute, and I don't have a beater so I gotta do this part by hand. It's kind of tiring, honestly. But if you do it in a tank top then this is a perfect chance to flex your biceps at anyone cute who happens to be watching and ask if they're looking forward to dessert. I think that makes the food magically taste better.

Then add the eggs and vanilla extract and mix those too.

Slowly add in the dry ingredients and mix, doing just a bit at a time. Resist the urge to sample the cookie dough just yet. Probably fail and note that it is wonderfully delicious.

Fold in the chocolate chips. I usually use a spatula for this. The cookie dough is really thick at this point so this is another chance to flex at someone if you dressed appropriately (again, it helps the taste. Magically.)

Throw the dough into the fridge for 30 minutes or more if you feel like it. I like to take this chance to watch an anime or two, the gayer the better.

Once you're done with that pre-heat the oven to 325 degrees F with the racks in the middle. I tend to forget the rack in the middle part though.

Pull a spoonfull of cookiedough and roll it up, then tear it in half by pulling at the two sides. Smush the two halves together so the torn area is facing up and place on the tray.

Bake just one cookie on the first one to make sure the time and temp are working out. Idk why but it varies by oven. It *should* take 12 mins to bake but I usually need to do 14.

This is the part that I usually sit by the oven to make extra sure nothing burns. Read a book, browse the web, edit some scripts, doodle a butt, contemplate life choices, anything to pass the time.

If the cookie turned out good then repeat method for the rest of the dough until you're out or have caved to your primal instinct and have shoved the rest of the dough into your mouth and are sick.

Let cool a bit and enjoy with a cold drink of choice.

@fluxom_alt

TBH, I was reading these and half-expecting it to go slightly sideways until it suddenly leapt the tracks and became a catastrophically kinky concept that relates to cookies only in the slightest.