Wobbly One Of Myriads @wobblewuffess@awoo.space

Smart Americans: "We should switch to the Metric system"

Me: Yeah but then it won't be nice outside anymore

Them: What

Me: *pointing to thermometer that reads 69ºF*

Them: nice

Me: nice

"This ring is cursed," the witch said, holding it in the palm of her hand. "Whoever wears it will die."
"Oh. Wow. How soon?"
"A minute before they were fated to."
"And?"
"And until then, they will have perfect health." She smiled shyly at her girlfriend. "Will you accept it?"
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

sometimes i'm like "wow i'm a girl how can things get any better" and then i remember im a DRAGON

I WANNA BE...
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@kistaro Let's be real: by American standards, a "sex crime" can be urinating in public

Why are new articles about Epstein’s entanglement with the MIT Media Lab describing him as having been convicted of “a sex crime”? By American standards, “a sex crime” is masturbating on a bus. Let’s try “convicted of raping children” instead.

"Don't go near the castle, it is cursed," the people in the village said.
"In what way?"
"It traps you."
"How?"
"Most of us were passing through, like you; now we can't leave."
"Why?"
They conferred, then an elder spoke. "It has an amazing, huge library."
"I must see it!"
"Noo!"
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Ambopteryx is a dinosaur with bat wings. Not a pterosaur either, but an actual dinosaur.

So basically, dragons actually existed on Earth, but they were only as big as sparrows.

One of the most disheartening things I ever learned about the tech industry was that the slap-dash rush-job hack patch scripts and cron jobs that I would only use in extreme emergencies as temporary stop-gap solutions are in reality what run the entire internet with very few exceptions