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what the fuck... I actually had fun at a company christmas party for once.. that is like the weirdest damn thing.
Granted.. I unintentionally collected a posse of like a dozen queer and queer adjacent folks from ops and dragged them to the outside part of the venue and hung out for 4 hours but still..
Of course now I am suffering with no voice xD

Reflecting on a personal affirmation [7] (end) 

Ultimately, capitalism's demand for endless growth is designed intentionally to inspire you to push yourself past your limits.

Businesses purposefully assign challenging goals with unreasonable time frames to inspire a sense of urgency.

That urgency is toxic to mental health, and harming yourself to meet unreasonable goals will only result in even more challenging goals later on.

So: Just focus on making each step the best step you can take.

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You are only temporarily abled.

This is not a threat. It is a statement of fact.

And if you're reading a threat into it, I urge you to seek therapy for paranoia.

Just noticed the JetBrains integration thing in the “GitHub is shoving AI up everyone’s ass” announcement. Uninstalling, cancelling my $250/yr JetBrains IDE subscription, telling them _exactly why_ in the survey. I strongly encourage others who subscribed to the paid versions of JetBrains tools to do the same; companies that forcefeed shitty AI features into otherwise good softeware must be made to feel pain.

Bleh... human bodies are weird. So.. I can't tolerate large amounts of dairy any more.. unless it is like butter for cooking or heavy cream that has been sauteed when I make garlic mashed potatoes. Like I can't eat icecream without getting sick, even with lactaid. D:

Oh and like some mild, white cheeses, jack, queso in small amounts.

I guess because I basically didn't eat dairy for a year other than small amounts of butter for cooking and often I use avocado or olive oil instead.

Offers of sweets have been made as is proper... now i'm sleepy.

Gods, I need to figure out how to communicate this to people.

If you are close to me and you ask something, a favor, help, assistance... I am generally incapable of saying no.

Even if I don't want to, don't feel up for it etc.

I'm like a discount version of The Luidaeg who can't ask a fair price.

Sometimes it is really important to recognize when is a bad time to ask for my help.

Worse, struggling with this makes me feel awful every time.

Sometimes I feel the need to apologize because I'm the social equivalent to the cryptic background dragon in a fantasy novel that appears for 2 scenes, offers some cryptic advise to re-contextualize a problem for the protagonist and vanishes back back to my lair to like read a book or sleep for decade until a new problem arises.

Except I do that to my friends too. :(

Baldur's Gate 3 Thought Debris:

"Call me Istik.. one more time."

What? ISTIK, is evolving!

ISTIK evolved into ISTABGITHYANKI!

Monsterfucktober #2, nsfw girl bulge 

2: Demon

Okay so sure i said I was going to lean more Monster for my monstergirls but are you going to say no to this buff demon magicalgirl instead?

#Monsterfucking2023 #Monsterfucktober

We live in a society that punishes compassion. Not in a cynical misanthropic way, i mean that money is neccessarily a zero sum game. We live in a system where going out of your way means sacrificing time, and time is money

And yet we still care about each other. That says a lot about our potential

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I was reading yet another article on HN about how companies that had a lot of people switch to working from home are taking punitive measures to make people come back to the office and I suddenly wonder if *anyone* is trying a carrot rather than a stick: "we will give you more money if you spend this much time in the office."

Because seriously all the IT nerds I see whining about this on Hacker News are also mostly perfect spherical economic units who exist only to maximize their profit and you would think they would react to this like small children offered free candy.

I really hate fixing a thing... and then realizing that should not have fixed it.. but it did.. but also.. work oncall thing late on friday.. so it can probably wait until monday.

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