Wobbly One Of Myriads @wobblewuffess@awoo.space

I hate April 1st...

Uh... there is a helicopter circling our neighborhood.

I couldn't make out everything it was saying but... it what I did hear was "Please come out with your hands up..."

Blaaaah... AWS Summit was neat and learned that... I have further questions... left with a giant stack of "shit I want to read" which is good!
Soon to be boss was rather happy to learn how interested I was in AWS "Well architected" because implementing something similar is going to be a core part of my new position...

THEN I LOST MY SUNGLASSES D:

Had them for 7 years... and they are not made any more... unless I bought the tacticool version and some replacement purple lenses..

Blaaaah... AWS Summit was neat and learned that... I have further questions... left with a giant stack of "shit I want to read" which is good!
Soon to be boss was rather happy to learn how interested I was in AWS "Well architected" because implementing something similar is going to be a core part of my new position...

THEN I LOST MY SUNGLASSES D:

Had them for 7 years... and they are not made any more... unless I bought the tacticool version and some replacement purple lenses..

And totally filed away as idea for an Exhuman themed Eclipse Phase character that is relatable.

HOLY FUCK MORE PLEASE?! IT wasssssgooooodd

Plus.. I'm super curious about the implications of the level biotech that created Kharnvoire and Turbo Raptor... and ugh... it was soo good...

Like... I would watch a fucking mini-series at least building up to that reveal at the end... or fucking 10 episode season arc... like seriously.

SADNESS..excited for chipotle because guac sound amazing.. Only for them to be out of guac

99 switches in need of new firmware...
Take one down..
Flash it around...
98 switches in need of new firmware...
Take one down...
Flash it around...

Mr. Tubbs... aka THE STEEL BEAST aka Failed, cheater Solaris 7 Gladiator..

I hope you get some more funding and cause me some more trouble again! The Stormwinds could really use some more of that sweet sweet Clan Tech you gifted us with your attempt to masquerade our company and attack our allies!

Plus.. how did it feel losing a Nova, Viper and Warhawk to Tempest piloting a Cougar just to troll your cheating ass in another duel?

We especially appreciate the capture of two fully intact Clan Heavy Omni-mechs. Especially that sweet custom Novacat! It and that Maddog-C are gonna be put to some great use!

Please do show up again! I mean... sure we pulled enough salvage from that contract to field 2 lances of heavies with full clan tech overhauls and another full lance of clan tech mediums.. but we could always use more!

Between your first failed attempted to duel Tempest and this one.. we've salvaged 7 clan gauss rifles and literally bolted one on to every mech than can support them! Plus those clan ERPPCs and Clan XL engines are awesome!

13 clan endosteel upgrades too.. not mention all the clan ferrofiberous armor... and even a bunch of ferror-llameor armor and watchdog ECMs.

We could stand to farm your ass all the time!

Bla... I have 20 open incidents in Pagerduty right now...

Fuck me.

Meanwhile me... taking AWS training and preparing to move to a team that all there... ugh..

Oh here it comes...

apparently we "play golf" with Azure execs... and have bunch of business with them... and Azure apparently just offered us "good value propositions" to our execs and AWS (where most of our public cloud stuff is now, where we are geared for public cloud) did not match the same sort of "benefits or value proposition"

Ugh... I want to stab this engineer in our meeting... from data protection.

Discussing why we should move stuff to Azure, because one of our products is literally backing up O365... so we should sell product that is backing up customer data already in Azure... in our own Azure instances...

Maybe customers are that dumb...

Postive side... half to redo the mission and no more lost arm!

Down side.. cockpit killing a mech with a UAC20 and leaving the rest intacted on a standard shot is super rare!

playing Roguetech because it is light on my hands... which are extra oww after getting zapped today..

Poor my poor Stormcrow got it's laser arm shot off..
Taking three Clan ER Medium Pulse Lasers with it.. which are worth like a month of my company budget each..

Well fuck!

Buuut it did cockpit kill a Catapult II with CUAC20 in the other arm.. and I still haven't salvaged a heavy mech yet.. so right there is a shiny CAT-II..

POWER GOES OUT!

Good news! Nerve conductivity in my hands is great...

Bad news... that means something is else is wrong with them that has been presenting the same symptoms as carpal tunnel for years and is getting worse..

I've been on half dozen drugs for ADHD... most of them worked but had really nasty side effects for me.

So when I turned 18 I stopped taking anything for it and went unmedicated. This was not good for my higher education. Even 13 years later, I can clearly remember the inability to control the ebb and flow of my focus and creativity and it sucked.

Like not just in work and school but in my social life and things done for pleasure. Sometimes I could lose myself in a game or book for hours... other days I was listless and unfocused, unable to muster the attention to do anything.

I've been on provigil now since early 2013.. it works for really well for me.

On it, I feel... Sharp all the time.. like if something needs to be done or I want something done I easily muster the mental attention to see it through. Something I've never been able to do on demand off medication.

Maybe we'll have a good understanding of the human mind to prevent children from going through what I went through with Ritalin, Adderal, Straterra and Concerta... before an adult finding out that Provigil worked for me... because I got diagnosed with Shift-Work Sleep Disorder while working night shift.

A conversation that involved my use of provigil for ADHD had me thinking about some weird stuff with my childhood brain.

I did not learn to read until I was put on Ritalin in second grade.

But I was a straight A student that did amazing at anything but spelling tests.

Eventually one of my teachers realized that I could read but I didn't understand letters.

Written English was a pictographic language to me in until Ritalin came along. I linked whole words with meaning but each word was basically its own rune, I couldn't deconstruct it into component letters in my mind..

My second grade teacher figured this out because we had a project to write our on dictionary and use it for writing tasks.... mine was enormous... and included a mix of written definitions and stick figure sketches of concepts.

Which... as an adult I'm pretty impressed by. Kid me was faking "reading" my memorizing thousands of words as single glyphs of meaning.

It wasn't until my ADHD started getting treatment that I could really break things down into letters and really grasp the alphabet.

I'm probably writing all this because... I feel guilty for my frustration and anger toward him when he was younger. My college fund went towards paying for his first attempt at recovery... along with putting my mom hugely in debt.

During my recovery from shoulder surgery my senior year of high school I spent several nights in agony because he stole my pain meds.

I had a lot of selfish resentment for him when I should have been more understanding and supportive.

I don't know if it would have made a difference. Probably not..

I've tried to distance myself and isolate myself from my family... because outside of my mom and her husband... they don't understand me, or my own struggle with TG stuff or anything.

My brother doesn't even know..

I'm starting to ramble.. I don't know what to say other than I hate the way the our society has focused on punishment over rehabilitation and treatment... and I wish the world was different.. but I don't know how to change it.