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i may have found/made up a justification for why i won't go to sleep. i think maybe it's a form of revenge(?)/self-compensation(?) bedtime procrastination thing that i do because the day starts out like complete and utter shit but by the time 2am rolls around i'm flying high as a kite and feeling just regular bad/worried with a dash of ignoring my problems and flooding myself in distractions, and i don't wanna go to sleep and bring tomorrow and with it another 100% shitty morning (i.e afternoon actually)

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