wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAASSAAASDOSAJKFA;SDKFA;LSDJK;OIDJS;LVNCXZ;OIJ

my head hurts not as in a headache, but as in my figurative head i.e. where *it* all is, when people say "it's all in your head"? so that part of me; it hurts

looking at anyone who accomplishes anything at all is torture because i can't accomplish shit

feeling like i'm about to cry but i can't ever cry because god knows why

i can't take this feeling anymore; i want out; i want it to end; no words will do justice with this terrible feeling; and i can't escape it; i want to die

feeling like a failure at 1:57 am vibes

wrote two sentences in a word document and couldn't go on because it feels stupid and pointless ​ ​

filled with fear, self-hatred, and an impotent and unspecific creative urge

anyway basically i make the world worse by being in it ✨

my mind isn't hell to be in right now (thanks to copious amounts of weed), but i still don't want this thankyouverymuch

playing the piano and feeling my mind shut down and revert back to i-wanna-die mode in 0.1 seconds

weed has both saved me and destroyed me yet again ​

about a month ago i stopped liking things, and so far only weed has made any kind of temporary dent in that

i hate existing, but when i'm high at least i also, in addition to my hatred for existence, like games, books, snacks, and podcasts again

my body is a dev version of a human body being forced to work in a production environment

i did the new physiotherapy exercises i was told to do and now my wrist/arm/hand hurts even more

i should prooooobably take a shower? but instead maybe i can just sit here in the edge of my bed and wish i was dead????

i probably stopped making sense like 3 posts ago but whatever

((i wish i could be like my parents and have my emotional state actually match the state that my life is in, because then i'd have spent most of my life pretty darn happy, instead of having everything i could want but only really wanting to die))

(and my life isn't even shit, you know? i just get irrationally unhappy every now and then regardless of the actual objective state of things)