wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

i'd say "if i was them, i'd stay in bed and wish for death" but i'm not them and i already do exactly that sooooo

i have friends and family who will keep working terrible jobs that they hate and power through terrible health and unbearable symptoms because they have no choice; meanwhile i don't get out of bed for almost a week straight because i feel like i'm worthless

i am not strong. i wish i was

i am lost

at this point it feels like remembering a past life

suddenly remembered that i wanted at some point to become muscly; and then i remembered that i can't because of my various outstanding orthopedic issues

there is nothing left for me in this life

i took a shower for the first time in several days but i still just want to die

another day of constantly wanting to be dead

i was outside for an entire 24 minutes during which i bought a food (shawarma wrap) and a snack (stroopwaffels) and beelined back home

i am in the elevator omw outside

shit i'm pathetic and the world would be a better place if i wasn't in it

considering going outside. but what would i even do there

i programmed an entire solitaire game in python with curses and all i can feel towards it is shame

i wish i died already

i am useless and if i don't get my shit together soon i should probably move back in with my parents so i stop wasting public and private insurance money

i am a waste of the planets resources ✨

oh no i'm awake

i was sick for a week but i think now i'm back to my regular schedule of staying in bed all day cause i wanna die

writing is basically torture and i can never decide if it's worse or better than the torture of ~not~ attempting to write when i'm plagued with an idea for weeks/months/years