wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

also he is nice to me so obviouly i can't get into a relationship with him

and he's one of these annoying privileged people who takes all his privileges for granted and like,,,,,,,,, that's just annoying even though i'm pretty much just as privileged

also he is juuuuust attractive enough for me to be ABLE to have sex with him, but unattractive enough that once i orgasm i'm literally REPULSED by him

a very,,, VERY, dangerous combination

i'm still texting with the guy i went on a date with but i just........ don't like him i think

i don't deserve a healthy relationship and the main reason is that i automatically destroy anything in my life that might become one

basically whenever someone is nice to me i get suspicious and cut them out of my life but when someone's being shitty at me then i'm like: yupppp i can totally get where they're coming frommmm this is what a piecea shit like me deserves 👍👍👍👍👍

it's actually kind of amazing that i only now am starting to realize that i'm into men who mistreat me because literally all of my relationships and all of my crushes were like that haha

basically i can't form meaningful connections with others

i am my own worst enemy and my own abusive boyfriend

i should not have gone on a date, i should not have stayed on the date as long as i have, i should not have gone back to his place, i should not have had sex with him, and i should not be ghosting him

obviously i shouldn't. and i shouldn't ghost him either. but i have 0 spoons for this

should i text this to the guy who i went out with on friday and that now keeps texting me and being nice or w/e

i can only fall in love with attractive men who ignore me, or better: outright treat me like shit

i am in pain and i want to be unaliven

life is suffering and pain and i don't want any of this

if i can't explain what's wrong then maybe nothings wrong

it makes me feel like getting depressed is even less justified

i can't even articulate why i'm frustrated

i have a date this afternoon (oh no) and a giant zit on my face (also oh no)

oh HEY wouldja lookit that i wanna DIE again ahahaha comedy GOLD i tell ya!!!!