wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

my previous mris were both done through public health but this time it's for something relatively urgent, and the public health system can get it done soonest in MARCH, and that's if i go all the way out to The South (~2.5h with public transit)

so i might have to spend some of my savings on getting this..... expedited

am i gonna have to pay for an mri out of pocket for the first time ever? maybe

fell asleep for three hours and woke up with new pains! this is fun

possibly my new favorite doctor

omg he even checked my x rays and gave me an mri referral without having to wait two weeks for another appointment

update: the doctor actually took me seriously and sent me to get x rayed

gonna finally see a doctor today about my arm muscle/ligament/tendon/joint problem that's been preventing me from going to the gym for the past four months

my expectations for this are that he's gonna tell me there's no surgery to fix this (which i'm not sure i'd want anyway) and that i should just keep going to physiotherapy and stop pestering him with questions

growing ever more distant and helpless to do anything about it

needed to get my daily dose of self- and world-hatred so i went on grindr 👍🥳🙃

ah some good ol ldar vibes today

you know what's worse than getting your second wisdom tooth pulled out? the three week wait up until the procedure!

a friend said these are terrible goals; and i said that they're not goals, they're needs

my least favorite type of date/time/timezone data in this current project i'm working on would probably be "unix timestamp but in local time"

getting those to parse correctly in my code is always an adventure, and the best part! is that:
1. the gtfs-rt standard calls for utc unix timestamps, which are pretty much the industry standard
2. the government document explaining the data source doesn't specify and just kinda implies to follow the gtfs-rt standard
3. when i tried following the standard the data was wrong (because they actually use local time unix timestamps!!!)
4. troubleshooting it and realizing what they did took ages because i had to be certain that the problem isn't whatever python/js library i tried using

remembered this classic because i've been doing date/time/timezone related programming for the past couple hours

https://m.xkcd.com/1883/

staying at my parents place in the suburbs for a few days and i feel.... non shitty???? what is this weird unfamiliar feeling

basically i wanna feel: attractive, healthy, and useful (in decreasing order of importance)

last night i may have accidentally cbt'ed myself (the therapy kind not the sex thing) into a less depressive thinking pattern

the kind of thought that i have to keep to myself because expressing it in text/speech would immediately invalidate it and make me stop believing it

obviously the reason i decided to check grindr just now was that i wasn't feeling bad enough about how i look and needed to top off my big tall glass of self hatred