wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

brain feels like a wet sponge and heart feels like a double bass drum and i literally can't get up from my chair and i want to die

fantasizing about a burglar coming into my room and begging for them to shoot me in the face but i live in too nice of a building for that to realistically happen and i'm preeeetty sure no neurotypical person would dare to shoot someone who's at their feet begging to be shot in between coughs and tears

can't believe i have covid and i'm not gonna die from it god damn it why did i even bother vaccinating shoulda stayed unvaxxed and died already

i wish i could've just kept lying in bed waiting to starve to death

i wish i wasn't afraid of ending up in a dirty unfunded hospital if i tried to commit suicide in any other way

i'm having such a shitty time coming to terms with the fact that i'll never have to body i wanted medically (of course) or appearance wise

ate for the first time in two days and it just feels like i gave up and i'm fat and ugly

good morning i want to be dead still

basically today was a shit day and i wish i was dead

sense of smell and taste still with me

but now i have extremely loud snaps and crackles inside one ear whenever i swallow 😵😵😩😩

tangled mess of feelings and thoughts glued together that i can't separate or make sense of

i woke up but i'm still scared from my nightmares

not sure if my nose is congested or i'm gradually losing my sense of smell or both

me getting sick with covid is my punishment for thinking i could trust an untrustworthy person 🥳🥳🥳

i just....,,,,, i can't believe with all the precautions i took for almost two whole years that a person i thought i could trust has infected me with The Plague

i knew i shouldn't trust him after [redacted], [redacted], or [redacted] and yet i was dumb and so i did it again

nose a little sneezy and throat a little achey but my head feels fine today

i'm actually feeling ok today? i think? idk. what does ok even feel like i wanna be dead anyway

welp

did u know 3: the only things i want are impossible to get/do anyway and i can't get myself to stop wanting them