wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

anyway i wish i was dead

oh no no i don't go for processed stuff. i much prefer the taste of the healthier, more natural, unprocessed trauma

yes definitely makes 100% sense to not eat because i feel fat, comma, a thing whomst is intrinsically Bad

im,,,, a burden on my community uwu

i wish once more to be unaliven

ok i guess i'll just lie in bed smoke weed and listen to the same britney spears cover on repeat

as the kids on tiktok say: it is i, i am bitches

well except for a literal fascist. yay.

i am everything that internet leftists taught me i should avoid and dislike

i am, as per usual, irreparably broken

the little that i ever wanted is unattainable, probably forever; and without it i have no motivation to do anything except wait until i die

anyway,,,, i wish i was dead

starting to look like i've missed the window of opportunity and he's probably gone and found himself something less depressing to do than spending time next to me and i really can't blame him cause id've done the same ​ ​ ​ ​ ​

a """friend""" has invited me over to watch him play video games; maybe i'll go and maybe i'll spiral instead and maybe i'll go and then spiral afterwards ​ ​ ​

i have felt one (1) positive emotion now i am cured of depression thumbs up emoji

as for my costume -- the responses from people so far are overwhelmingly positive, probably because there's a big costume-related holiday next week

a bunch of kids asked me all kinds of questions, i let one of them try the ears on

the woman at a tourist shop told me all about the costume-holiday religious stuff that i "really should attend" (lol)

a tourist-bus driver honked to get my attention, then waved and smiled as his coworker took a photo

a bus full of schoolchildren knocked on the bus windows and waved

a random street vendor said just "nice!" (in english)

and a woman at the train station asked me where i bought the things (bruryah, at the dizengoff center in tel aviv)

kohélet is the perfect jewish text for a months-long existential crisis btw; highly recommended

went to the old city and the western wall. took that time to write in a journal, leave a note in the wall, and adamantly refuse offers for jewish missionary stuff, and read all of kohélet from my phone cause they had a billion prayer books but somehow no single old testament????

then i took a walk around the old city, and around mt zion, where there used to be a weird jewish cult that i read about in a book

at every turn i'm constantly reminded of how this city is split up into warring factions -- border police at some tram stops and at the western wall; bullet holes in the ancient city gates; old barbed wire fences on some buildings; a constant anxious thought in my head along the lines of "wait does this street lead to the Other part of the city? how will they take to a random israeli waltzing in like they own the place, wearing wolf ears and a long bushy tail? will something Bad happen to me if i go there?"

i packed extra layers, an e-reader, a notebook, and a phone charger in my backpack; wore my finest wolf-ears and -tail, and went to the train station; four minutes until my train

let's go to jerusalem