sisyphus put a flower in his hair and kept rolling
I think I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and try to deal with this by injecting a little more positivity into the system.
God, this is fucking with me, though. Can you believe, I'd been living in furry collectives for TWENTY YEARS?
It's been so weird to spend all my time around one person, even if she can deal with my emotional cruft better than anyone else I've ever met. I have to work that much harder to get a balanced emotional diet.
sisyphus put a flower in his hair and kept rolling
I honestly don't know how to handle not having the social opportunities come to *me*. I realize I've been absolutely terrible at it, fretting over nobody contacting me, while I go months without contacting anybody.
It's hard. Peg's place is too small for comfortable visits. And I've still got a lot of self-doubt and fear lingering from The Bad Stuff last year. I don't know. I'm trying to get over it and do better. I just don't have a clear path.
sisyphus put a flower in his hair and kept rolling
So I think I'm gonna try swallowing my fear that people don't hit me up any more for a REASON, and that reason is more than just Seattle introverts being Seattle introverts. It's time to reach out.
I don't know. It's hard not to interpret every little signal as a covert "fuck off, Eeyore," when I'm in this depressive mode. But it seems to be the most honest, if not necessarily safest, option.
(Twilight Sparkle: if this fails, I blame YOU.)