mood, interpersonal disputes (---)
I did it. I identified what it was that was nagging at me -- an attempt by Orrery several weeks ago to contact me over something I felt was trivial. This was despite my impression that we had settled into a comfortable non-contact zone, not one where I'm not allowed to contact her but she can drop her name into my inbox and trigger me whenever she feels like.
I sent the kindest, firmest note that I possibly could, telling her that I don't want to hear from her unless it's for some kind of reconciliation, and that I know that's probably not going to happen. And then I cried a little, added a bit where I wished her well, edited it so it was as genuinely nice as I could possibly muster under the situation, thanked her for the many good things she did do for me... and then curled up for that power nap I was threatening if I found myself to be totally inconsolable.
Y'all...? I'm totally inconsolable. Hugs, petting, and gazelle carcasses would be very timely. Just leave them on the sleeping, yowling black-striped lump in our living room. (Wear Kevlar just in case.)
re: mood, interpersonal disputes, clarification (---)
For the record, apparently the note turns out not to have been Orrery's idea, and there was just a misunderstanding. There was definitely no intentional wrongdoing, it just... it was not a good thing to deal with. Suitable apologies have been exchanged, and thank you all for the hugs, pettings, and gazelle carcasses. I really just want to go back to putting all this behind me. -_-
