mh, frank talk about The Thing, leavin' (-)
Peg and I had the closest thing we've had to a fight over the move so far. Just a little miscommunication over logistics and how I was going to split dayjob/move hours, and what was going to be done with a couple boxes that were sitting around half-packed.
I'm a mess, though. Even though it was all resolved amiably and turned out okay. Too many reminders of what it was like trying to be heard and taken seriously in my former residence, how things would just keep escalating because of the stupidest mutual inabilities to communicate, and I'd always walk away feeling like I got all the blame (which was apparently true?).
It took me like a half hour to calm down afterwards. We didn't even end up raising our voices at each other, just... stressed at each other a bunch. It wasn't even a fight. But I'm still scarred by all the times it DIDN'T stop there because neither side could let go. And now I feel like such a damn rescue puppy.
Between that and the last-minute Seattle nostalgia... yeah, I'm a bit of a mess right now. Frankly kinda glad 99% of my social affairs have been wrapped up and I'll be heading somewhere I barely know anybody-- not out of ANY lack of fondness for any of you, but because relative solitude means it's that much harder to fuck anything up, and that feels real fucking good right now.
I won't miss this place. That feels so weird, for a place I was calling my adopted hometown just five years ago. But there are really very few things here I wish to be reminded of-- and _they_ can all get on a goddamn plane and visit. <3