So my computer at work is finally turned on again and it's behaving Extremely Normally, such as how I can open one explorer window, once, before all remote interactions with the computer stop working.
(This is NOT A REQUEST FOR TECH SUPPORT. I have advised the people who do tech support at work about this problem and they will deal with it, or not, as their workday allows. I appreciate the love you show but all I'm doing by sharing this is enjoying the absurdity of modern life.)
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@Austin_Dern (Fave = sympathy and a "right on" about the tendency of well-meaning techies to dogpile people here. :> )
@zebratron2084 (Thank you. I almost just shared the bizarre symptoms and then realized I'd be spending the rest of the afternoon explaining to well-intentioned people why I'm not redirecting firewall conduit gravimetric waves through the isoharmonic VPN deflector array.)