You know, I talk a good talk here about all my woes down in NOLA. But I just ate a veggie burrito for lunch and I feel so damn... virtuous.

And it dawns on me, I've never felt LESS like destroying myself, more interested in living on the straight and narrow, and more interesting in keeping myself alive.

I never talked about it, but The Thing with the ex-roommates came to a head with me being actively suicidal and running for the knife block in the kitchen, out of sheer panic and suddenly, catastrophically induced self-hate. I really thought for sure in that moment that it was all over for good.

And that phase of my life sure as fuck was. All crushed up and burnt. Thank god I had Peggy to offer up a getaway vehicle when I did.

Now I look back on that aftermath, "stuck" living with her in a cramped apartment in the University District, as one of the first really peaceful and quiet phases of my adult life, one of my best. And the one I'm in now could use a little work, but if this damn city doesn't drown us, it could be even better than the last one.

It does get better, folks. Or at least, it really, really can. I wish I could tell you everything will be all right, I really do. But I can at least tell you that it can. I offer up my prayers to the Raccoon Gods that you, too, will narrowly escape the trash compactor and find a newer, better place to live in than that dumpster. Fellow scavengers, there are treetops out there, with no stink, no predators, and well... at least *fewer* diseases.

I promise. ​👍​❤️​

@zebratron2084 are you sure tho? (Having a rough week over here.)

@hummingrain

No. ​

*hug*

(But, then again, I wasn't sure then, either. I hate to get all Daoist on you, but... it's not that everything's going to be fine. It's that, for all we know, it could. Our minds are largely just not good at assessing our fates.)

(Or, to paraphrase one of my favorite comedians, in a panel quiz show where the goal was to talk the host out of suicide: "Don't worry! You WILL meet your doom eventually! You may just have to be a bit patient." *morbid smile and a hug* )