Meh. Feeling like a big nuisance again, someone people don't really want to see pop up in chat but they'll put up with until I go away.

Missing heavy conversations. Peg and I have a pretty damn good thing going but we've tread all the territory there is to explore, at least for now.

Thank god for the comic. Hope enough people like it that we can justify continuing it. In the meantime, trying to adjust and maybe think of some ways to renew things down here.

I feel like i'm just too old to start over, and have alienated/bored/annoyed far too many people to go back. Even if I visited Seattle, I'd feel like nothing but a big lame imposition. The dream of a Big Friendly Community is just good and dead, along with anything except Parallax that still resembles magic in my life.

Worse, I look around at the rotten shape some of my friends are in, and I feel a lot of survivor's guilt. 'Cause all my fundamentals are reasonably OK right now. I'm in the black for the first time in ages, cost of living is dirt-cheap down here, and this city is consistently gorgeous.

I feel like I'm one of the only ones who got a lifeboat, and now I'm complaining that there isn't a wet bar too. But I can't pretend I don't miss the days when I literally had more attention than I could deal with. I can't shake the feeling that I'm the one, entirely, who blew it here.