I'm in that sort of mood I could impulsively describe as "hating everybody," but that's not really accurate. I still _like_ people, after all, present company largely included*. ;) Just not very actively at the moment. If I could live in a high-tech monastic cloister with a good food dispenser, locked to the outside world, that would be pretty rad.

I'm not even in a bad mood, per se, just... flat. But the general onslaught of life in 2019 has dropped my Dunbar's number** to mmmmaybe 1.5? I can fire up positive emotions for most of Peggy and about 2/3rds of any given one of the people who actually went out of their way to help me during The Thing. No particular one, just one at a time. Whoever's actually bothering to be there.

This is not a deliberate sentiment, nor a good one. I'm hoping it passes soon, because it's no way to live. It's just a symptom of exhaustion and mild despair. It just is. I'm just tired and exasperated.

*it's not that i secretly hate, say, ~10% of my followers, i just hate ~10% of what we all—including me—do ;p
** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number