I just brought my most morally satisfying ever game of Civ V to a close.

It's been going for three days. Saturday, I was best buds with Alexander. We laughed, we traded, we drank retsina, we backstabbed the French together... You know, imperial bro stuff.

All I wanted was Troyes. Napoleon had settled it WAY into our historic territory and I was a little sore about it a thousand years later. When Al came to me, I really though we were just gonna rough Napo up a little, peel off a couple of his cities, and bring him down a peg.

Nope. It quickly became clear that my old friend was going to fight a war of unbridled conquest. I pondered letting him do it and just taking him out later, for old time's sake. War is war. But then I turned around and Paris was on fire. He was razing it to the ground and exterminating its citizens.

That was a bridge too far. I made a pact with Napoleon and Al's previous victim Ashurbanipal (who, like Napo, had been a right good sport about the whole thing) and immediately declared war.

By 1880... no more Greek bullies. We kept his cities, remanded all of Ashi and Napo's territory back to them, and even rebuilt Paris and handed it over to its rightful owner—better than ever, with 3000 gold worth of shiny new Babylonian technology.

Then we dismantled our entire army except for basic garrisons, swore a defensive pact with the French and Assyrians, rebuilt our trade lanes with a less genocidal partner, and looked towards the stars.

Felt good, man. Especially after this last fuckin' week.