@matoakit That's a rough place to be and I wish you a lot of luck. *hug*
If it's any consolation, I've been in and out of that state two or three times a decade, and life is looking pretty good here in my early 40s, so I know for sure there can be a happy ending to it.
These are rough times, and you should definitely go easy on yourself if you can. Just get through for us, mmkay?