"You know what, Schadenfreude? I like you. You're not like the other drones, here in the changeling hive."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Schadi, they're fine insects, they're good minions. But they're content to buzz around, maybe disguise themselves as a pegasus, drain all the life out of a kitten. They're good, fine ponybugs, Schadi. But they don't know... WHAT TWILIGHT SPARKLE IS DOING TO OUR CHITIN."

"You know that Ocellus kid, the kid that goes to school in Canterlot? She's one o' them new changelings. Some of the neighbors say she drinks acrylic paint, but I don't believe it!"

"Anyway, for her tenth birthday, all she wanted was friendship. Kept bugging me for it. 'Mom, get me a friend. I'll never deign to speak in your presence again as long as I live.' So I break down and I kidnap her a pony."

"Anyhow, the other night I go down into the hive and there's this Ocellus kid, playing with the pony. I said, 'What are you doing!?' She said, 'I'm learning about friendship!' I said, 'Thumpin' Thorax on a pogo stick, everybody knows friendship is something you suck out of a pony with a straw!' Now Schadi, do you think a kid like that is gonna know WHAT TWILIGHT SPARKLE IS DOING TO OUR CHITIN?!"

(Apologies to Rodney Anonymous and Joe Jack Talcum...)