MH (-)
One thing that I struggle with is that I constantly forget that we are each inexorably and permanently alone. Nothing will ever change that.
It always slips my mind, and when I recall, I feel just devastated.
MH (-)
Like, I know it's primarily in my head. But I don't think that matters, because I still feel discarded.
I'm so weary of only being worth something when someone else decides that I'm interesting enough in this moment.
I wish I had value beyond the whims of fickle emotions. I wish I could be a person of worth beyond someone else's schedule. Including my own.
I'll die alone and forgotten. Maybe someone will wonder why I didn't post to twitter in a while, and then shrug and move on with their life.
That's about it.
MH (-)
That is not about it... but I share the sentiment...
If I suddenly disappeared, no one would know why, and I fret that it'd just be a "wonder whatever happened to... meh..."
re: MH (-)
@JulieSqveakaroo @Phorm I have this horrible feeling that the extent to which anyone would care if I disappear, charted over the course of my life, would be a bell-curve that peaked somewhere around 2004. It's OK, it was a fun ride even if it didn't go much of anywhere.
re: MH (-)
... and why do you think we don't think that of you, honey?
re: MH (-)
@JulieSqveakaroo @zebratron2084
Because I have the broken brain, and we live in a hellscape reality.
re: MH (-)
re: MH (-)
@zebratron2084 @JulieSqveakaroo
I'd care a whole lot if either of you disappeared. A whole lot. I mean that sincerely.