Yeah. Stepdad is not doing well. I haven't seen him this gaunt since his cancer treatments, his breathing is labored, he's tired, he's having trouble going up and down stairs, and he looks harrowed. And he's on so many pills, so many freaking different pills.

I'm really worried I have a *real* limited number of holidays left with him. I'm just really glad we got Peg up here to meet him while she could.

Maybe he'll improve after his next stents get put in. He did just a minor (?) heart attack after all. He's still walking around with a 60% blockage, though thank god they got rid of the one that was 90%.

I dunno. Otherwise the holiday's been really nice. Peg's been a snarky li'l dragon angel, and been getting along just fine with my equally snarky parents. I just... feel that sense of doom overhanging everything, especially because we're ALSO still reeling from losing my brother Matt from cancer*, and Mom's broken down in tears three times so far.

It's hard. It's just hard.

*fuck cancer