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cafe, gripe, snark, mild scatology/tmi 

There is a man at one of the tables with a headset, conducting lengthy phone calls about real estate at the top of his lungs, and it feels like the cafe has become haunted by a Rich White Male Entitlement Elemental.

I want so badly to just, like, move to the table immediately next to him and whip out a kazoo or start beatboxing or something, just loud enough that his clients can hear me. Or maybe eat another six or seven sausage biscuits and just go over and flatulate shamelessly at him.

re: cafe, gripe, snark, mild scatology/tmi 

Everything this shithead says reeks of sleazy careerist hustle, it's giving me flashbacks to the financial-sector pricks I used to transcribe when I lived in Boston, and if you don't hear from me for a couple days, it's because I gave the POS the Space Rabies and am under observation in some CDC clinic somewhere. Take care of each other while I'm gone--no crummy human lvl 5 biolab can hold me.

cafe, gripe, snark, mild scatology/tmi 

@zebratron2084 You're in Nola, and you don't carry a musical instrument of destruction on you at all times???

re: cafe, gripe, snark, mild scatology/tmi 

@Balinares I mean, this is the second time I've seen this guy, so... it might be worth the investment. >:D Though I think Plan A next time might be "record him with my phone and present you all with highlights for suitable mockery."

cafe, gripe, snark, mild scatology/tmi 

@zebratron2084

Suggestion.
This is the time for drumming.
Maximum drumming.
Empowered focused quickened drumming.

And maybe a vuvuzella for flavor.

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