@zebratron2084

Swap Biden for Hillary and I could have written this word for word in 2016. I voted for Bernie in the primary but “held my nose” (how very inspiring as a call to action) and voted for Hillary in the general. I was _furious_ when, after Trump won, acquaintances were declaring that they had voted for Bernie as a write-in. I *almost* blocked a lot of people and the only reason I didn’t was that, since my problem with these people was their refusal to fucking unify even in the direst of circumstances, and since rightists and Russians were deliberately sowing disunity among the left (not that we needed any goddamn help), I decided to make the choice *not* to turn my back on these fucking idiots. It was excruciating. I had people muted on twitter for over a year.

(This decision was made slightly easier by the fact that I don’t actually think these people decided the election. I’m pretty sure voter suppression, interference by foreign and domestic saboteurs, and the fucking electoral college had more to do with it. Not to mention the Hillary campaign hardly bothering to, y’know, campaign in swing states because they figured they couldn’t possibly lose to Trump. If I’d actually thought the Never Hillaries had been the deciding factor in all this, I don’t know if I could have forgiven them.)

This time though… I don’t know. I’m feeling so fucking done with this good cop bad cop horseshit. This goddamn hostage situation. “Don’t you care about children in cages? If you vote for our guy, we MIGHT let them out!” (Shutting down Gitmo was one of Obama’s campaign promises. In 2018 Trump signed an executive order keeping it open indefinitely.) “If you don’t vote for our guy, families will continue to be torn apart and it will be YOUR FAULT!”

I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I can’t support a party that follows two steps behind the GOP as it marches to the right, a party that continues to offer *nothing* except being less monstrous than the other guys, NO incentive to vote for them except fear of what’ll happen if we don’t. A party that keeps propping up decaying old warmongers who openly scorn M4A, climate action, undoing any of Bush or Trump’s tax cuts for gazillionaires, raising the minimum wage and anything else that interferes with neoliberal motherfucking business as usual.

If Trump wins and the children stay in cages, it won’t be because enough people didn’t vote for a senile old hair-sniffer who has proudly declared “I have no empathy for [the younger generation], give me a break” and that “No one’s standard of living will change, nothing will fundamentally change.” (That second one is even worse in context.) It’ll be because millions of people aren’t swarming ICE facilities right this second, weren’t doing so from the second we found out what was happening. First with protest signs, then with sledgehammers and sawzalls if necessary.

More than anything I *want* to agree that we just need to get Trump out no matter what and worry about it after. My problem is I don’t think people *will* worry about it. I think it’ll be exactly as Biden said – nothing will fundamentally change (including most of Trump’s changes for the worse, or the Bushes' for that matter, or Reagan's). I worry that the relative safety of a grody old man who *isn’t* a Captain Planet villain will diffuse a lot of momentum, leaving us less prepared when a much slicker, smarter fascist than Trump steps up. Because the right has learned from this that the absolute stupidest, meanest man alive can say the quiet part loud and people will cheer.

I don’t know what to do, but lately I can’t help daydreaming about firing the entire federal government and starting from scratch. Every (D), every (R), every (I), all three branches, circuit courts too. Everybody out, even the ones I personally like. All of them banned for life from holding office again. Then abolish the electoral college, un-gerrymander everything and guaran-fucking-tee that everyone eligible to vote is able. Make a series of voting days into national holidays as we gradually refill every office. Instant runoff voting so we never have to hedge our bets with an “electable” candidate versus one we actually like; this would also allow us to have more than two viable parties.

I don’t think it’s doable by voting. It *might* be doable without bloodshed. Realistically, probably not. And sure, maybe that creates a huge power vacuum that the wrong people might step into but Jesus Christ I'm about ready to roll the dice here.

I’m the last person on earth who WANTS to come to the conclusion that we’re in a bind we can no longer vote our way out of. I’m a coward, frankly. I desperately want to believe that voting for the right doddering old fungus can, if not fix everything, at least set us on the path that might. That’s what they keep promising, isn’t it?

I just... don't believe it anymore. Maybe I'll still vote for Biden (I think I'm still eligible while living in Finland). I probably should, since I know how unlikely my alternative is and I can't just... *not* try to save the hostages. But having to make this decision makes me feel so, so sick, and this time I don't think I can be angry at anyone who decides to just not touch the trolley lever.