Terminology Help Request, Queer Terms, Honestly Asking for Help
I realize that "Asking the disenfranchised to explain themselves" is TOP BAR AWFUL, but I am actually perplexed about something I read recently, and my attempts to educate myself have failed summarily.
So someone I follow elsewhere said "The 'bi-lesbian' label is extremely disrespectful to all apphics, ESPECIALLY to lesbians. If you defend them then I hate you personally."
I've not heard this term used, ever, myself. I don't know what it means, and I've no context for the reason it is problematic. But I do want to understand.
Can anyone point me in the right direction to educate myself on this topic?
re: Terminology Help Request, Queer Terms, Honestly Asking for Help
@Phorm Honestly, I probably can't help you, because when I see someone splitting terminological hairs to the point of hating people personally, I usually just unfollow and block.
YMMV and you are a good geniefox for wanting to understand the problem better---I do look forward to you sharing any answer you get, because there might be a valid grievance at the core of this one.
I have a suspicion it ties into the old stereotype of "college lesbian" women who supposedly aren't really committed to the lifestyle and political world, though I can only guess as to whether this person is offended because they *do* or *don't* think that demographic really exists.
Honestly, at first glance it does smell a bit gatekeepy to me and it leaves me wary that it's part of some "not lesbian enough" thing, but I'd like to know more about their actual motives. Even if I'm gonna end up shaking my head at someone, I want to at least want to do it based on a fair understanding...
re: Terminology Help Request, Queer Terms, Honestly Asking for Help
I'm honestly not even sure on any axis. The person in question isn't someone I know well enough to make a determination, but from their phrasing I think their concern is absolutely about others impinging on the lesbian territory? For my own failure of knowing how to reasonably talk about that?
If I get to the bottom of it, I will absolutely loop you in. There very much could be a LOT I'm missing - I actually am positive there is a LOT I am missing.
This kind of thing makes me even more confused about what to call myself, though. Like... legit, what the fuck am I supposed to call this mess I am?
re: Terminology Help Request, Queer Terms, Honestly Asking for Help
@Phorm Yeah, this one is kind of personal territory for me, because I had a bisexual friend in college who was constantly getting shit from her Earnest Young Radical Lesbian older sister for Selling Out The Movement and not being A Real And Virtuous Lesbian. So I probably have a lot of personal prejudice at work in this one and would love to see if I'm just kneejerking my own reflexive bias here.
If that *is* what it turns out to be and it's just one more "You're Not X Enough (or political enough about it) To Be Allowed In Our Club," don't let it get to you. There are always gonna be people like that and you're not beholden to them in the least. There's always a spot for you here on the fence with us mangy giant alley cats. <3 *hug* (Once you learn how to dodge the cartoon boots they throw at us, it's not so bad. :) )
re: Terminology Help Request, Queer Terms, Honestly Asking for Help
@Phorm I mean, my rule of thumb is if they're demonizing people for SELF-identifying with this label is they can basically go fuck themselves anyhow. In my opinion those are the sort of people who, when they speak you can see the OTHER side of the stick at the back of their throat. >_<