cats, anxiety (~)
Meanwhile, everybody else except for CJ (who adamantly refused to go into any carrier) is off at the trap/neuter/release charity.
And I am worried out of my wits for them. And I know this is ridiculous. I've been looking over the surgery success rates... constantly... for days... and they're really high. All my horrible visions are of things like a car accident or a carrier escape in a bad place.
I guess I just miss the little bastards, too, and still worry they're not going to trust us afterwards. And I worry about CJ all alone out there tonight.
I'm okay, but I won't be completely okay until everybody's home and safe plus maybe an extra week.
re: cats, anxiety (~)
And of course I worry with every waking moment that I'm doing something horribly wrong with the kittens -- some part of their litter training, missing something in the kittenproofing, something I should be doing for their health...
But they look so damn robust. And that feels really good. Maybe we'll actually get through this. Only four to six weeks to go, then they'll be ready to adopt out.
I'll hate to see them go, but I'll also be really relieved. We can't have two indoor cats AND six outdoor ones. And this is a much better life for them than leaving them out on the street. The others are used to it, they'll be fine, but maybe we can do better for Liv and Snowy.
Or something terrible will happen and my heart will be completely broken like I've been braced for from the moment I met these friggin' cats. I dunno. Being me is being ready for the blow at every... single... moment... and honestly having porch cat friends, let alone "pets," is kind of a fucking nightmare for me.
But damn it, I love them so much. And that scares the shit out of me.
re: cats, anxiety (~)
@zebratron2084
You are likely doing very well at kitteneering. It's actually really difficult to mess it up without intentionally trying to... they raise themselves in the wild.