mh (~), dayjeorb, fandom, social media, jadedness, selfhate, The Thing
I've gotten to the point where I don't really recognize my work personality from my real personality or my online personality.
And I've also gotten to the point where I very distinctly like the work me better than any other me. For the first time in my life, I'm less afraid of breaking a major social norm or embarrassing myself at work than I am... say... here. Or at a con.
And that scares the fuck out of me.
It's quite clear by now that I've never really healed from the guilt and damage left over from Transliminal Station exploding. The pariah feels are still horrible, and still consistently keeping me from reaching out.
I've been using the lockdown as an excuse to put off therapy, but it's probably the only thing left to do.
Meh. Not looking forward to opening The Pain Vaults to a stranger.
Re: mh (~), dayjeorb, fandom, social media, jadedness, selfhate, The Thing
@zebratron2084 Best of luck finding a good one.
Re: mh (~), dayjeorb, fandom, social media, jadedness, selfhate, The Thing
@Verdigris I have succeeded before! But I've also failed MISERABLY and gotten a guy who diagnosed me with MPD after one session bbbbbasically because I was a queer roleplayer and trusted him way more with my imaginative life than I should have.
We'll see! My two therapists who were good were absolutely *lovely* people. I don't think that they pulled off any long-term fixes, but they were certainly a relief to chat with.
And thank you. <3
