"For reasons unknown, someone has shaped this lump of epoxy into human-like form, perhaps in an attempt to comprehend their own hideous shape-- more likely to mock the God that blighted them so..."

"I shall now observe the ungainly peach-colored creature. His humid, fleshy extensions struggle as he attempts to dominate some simple, seemingly purposeless toy. Already a sense of pity overcomes me yet I am repelled by my own compassion."

"Although his biological makeup implies a living thing, I am certain we shall discover him to be but an animated piece of refuse or feces, but I must remain impartial and continue to study even as he mocks everything I hold dear. I hate him. I can take comfort only in my cool detachment."

"He looks at me now, and no flicker of comprehension do I discern in his flat and lifeless eyes. I can only pray that his tiny spinal column conveys no spark of truth, no splinter of the horrible reality that this is all inside. My God! I pray for his death, as do all things that love rightness and decency."

The above pretty much sums up how I feel about my day on Twitter.