mood
A little intrigued by Masto again now that there's a new influx of people. But mostly just having another bout of severe cultural allergy.
I feel like I am about to barf up a hairball full of little chewed up soggy bits of timeline-algorithm code, snide right-wing memes, and Zoomer debates over whether Jorts should be canceled for their shocking and clearly racist indifference to the plight of Myanmar.
I don't like anybody right now, on a fundamental level. If it's any consolation, even ARTIE is kinda pissing me off right now. (All she's done all day is staaaaaare at me. =O.O= ) And I have a little post-it note on my cruel tiger heart that has all your names and says "FRENDS - DO NOT EET."
But I'll still be in my den. And you really, really, really should not enter it unless you have either Armor Rating 10+ or at least 50 kg (110 lbs) of cooked unseasoned beef, preferably with the head still on.
If I could ask for anything, it would be for someone to come open me back up, give me a glimpse of the Good Old Days where I had decent outlets for the softer, subbier, more mystical part of myself. All that feels gone, gone, gone, and what's left just feels like (an admittedly very comfortable and easy) holding pattern.
But I'd actually be willing to take on a little pain and risk right now to have any of that back, to be able to walk back onto Tapestries or Livejournal circa 2002 and be the weirdest, kinkiest, most sociable and luminous me.
Tomorrow. I'll look for it again tomorrow. For now... I think I'm just gonna hunch over in a nice dank cave and STARE at you all for a few hours. I'm starting to get what Artie was on about. =O_O=
mood
@zebratron2084 I really relate a lot to this. Those were some of the shiniest moments. I remember them fondly often. Even though a lot of things changed, on a small, private level, I'm still grateful I got to experience those things at all, and you were a significant part of that, for what it's worth.
mood
@zebratron2084
"If I could ask for anything, it would be for someone to come open me back up, give me a glimpse of the Good Old Days where I had decent outlets for the softer, subbier, more mystical part of myself. All that feels gone"
Yeah, that's a perpetual mood for me these days, and combined with the general state of... everything, why I'm looking for a smooth exit.
I empathize with what you mean tremendously. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you, and that I'm hoping you can find what it is you need and are longing for.