good morning

I'm ready to get to the weekend

ok let me get some coffee and oatmeal before this second meeting starts

I only had six hours of sleep but with this meeting at 10 and it being a Friday, I'm thinking I may go ahead and make a run of it and soak up in my accumulated surplus some

hence the coffee and oatmeal

when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

ok meeting done

I'm still sleepy girl

I think at some point sooner rather than later I should fully plot out Quoll and the ideal following games

I seriously think that nearly four years after the events that led me to start it, I'm beginning to land around a recognition of what I want to say and amplify

I'm even realizing my original idea for an ending is... wrong

it defeats the thrust of what I want people to take away as they struggle in our own world

but even more I have this strange sense of optimism that it's going to end up describing my relationship with a world that has come to an end or is even more obviously in its twilight by the time it comes out

like not just because my transition is sort of the end of the era of my personal history, but at the wider societal issues

it's possible by the time I turn 60 we're still stuck in a world far too similar to now like I feel about my old therapist

but I don't think so

like I don't think I want to fully get into the details of how dramatic this week has been for me on a personal level

but it has been shockingly so, and it almost _feels_ like exactly a mostly tidy arc in my narrative

that the things I was so angry that I thought others were doing have revealed to be things that I was doing also

then again maybe a nice week at my parents and the time off of work just gave me enough distance from the fall of the empire happening around me that I had kind of forgotten how cursedly interesting these times are

I feel like I should keep a running tally of the number of times I have to stop myself from typing ":3" in a work message

anyway, I just went through a section of the requirements doc to get a list of test case titles and any questions that occurred to me

I don't want to guarantee it, but it feels like this will take way less time than I estimated

like I had a few days for this section but I think I could have something written up by Monday EOD

I basically don't ever want the people involved to get used to how quickly I can do this work because they will expect it always and look, I know me

I'm going to have days where I need to slack